Tuesday, September 4, 2012

What the hell happened to fatherhood? - John Tamihere Column ...

By John Tamihere

I woke up to yet another Fathers Day and got to thinking 30 years ago the majority of us woke up to a house where Kiwi families for the most part had a male, female child or children and this was called the whanau or family unit. Most of the males and females were joined by way of a concept, a contract and undertaking called marriage. In most families the male called Father was the sole bread winner and deemed to be head of the whanau and the household. In many families the father also appeared to be the go-to-guy for most, if not all, decisions.

Rapid change has occurred to this family unit. The woman's liberation movement determined, with some validity, that they were as a gender tied to domestic duties and that this forum of second class citizenship had to be broken. New Zealand has a fine tradition in social change matters. We were the first democracy to award women the vote in 1893; in 1974 we had a huge debate over sterilisation, contraception and abortion; and The Kirk government election in 1972 brought in the Domestic Purposes Benefit (DPB) again for good reason.

It was acknowledged that women in a bad relationship needed financial support, given many women were not in employment and we all accepted that relief. The marketing and branding of women can do anything and that 'girls are as good as boys' has worked dramatically.

Kiwi boys now in education terms lag way behind the girls. In 1980 engineering studies consisted of 2% women, today it is 48%; Law School and Business school today have women in the majority at over 50%.

In the blink of an eye we no longer have a family. We have two people presently called caregivers, if you are lucky. Your child can now report you to the police or welfare. The connection between a parent's duty to their child is now ruled by a third party. The DPB has increased from 100 in the 1970s to tens of thousands in 2000.

The rise of the sole parent, the drop off in marriage and the sledge hammer of Rogernomics have delivered the absolute requirement that both men and women had to work and earn to get ahead. Childcare or outsourced parenting is now the norm of the modern family and the nation. The notion of a nuclear family and the role of the old father figure is no longer certain.

So on this Fathers day I feel like the Mayor of Hiroshima on the morning after he got hit by the atomic bomb, what the hell happened to fatherhood?

Sunday News, 2nd September 2012

Source: http://www.radiolive.co.nz/What-the-hell-happened-to-fatherhood/tabid/466/articleID/30395/Default.aspx?ArticleID=30395

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